For this C h o s e n Trial

I'm sitting here on my bed...book wide open, note cards scattered around, my favorite green highlighter and the most perfect fine tip pink felt pen around. Candle burning and I hear the soothing sound of "I Will be Still" by Young Oceans coming from my iPhone. 

But something is off...something just doesn't feel right.

But I can't pick exactly what it is. I've been sitting here since about 4:00pm trying to study and haven't gotten one thing done. Not one. It's just like my mind can't stay still. It just won't let me concentrate. I am struggling..bad. 

Yesterday, it really seemed as if everything around me was crashing down. It's like I was just standing there and everything was just spinning and I watched it all hit the ground. I watched the truth come out and then the obstacle hit it...and knocked it down. I got in my car and cried for almost 2 hours. Just sitting there crying. 

As much as I want to ask God "why"...I don't. I am not going to question Him.

I know this is a trial. I know that something is going to come out of this. What exactly? Well, I don't know. But at moments, I literally feel like I just am numb. Numb is actually a really good word to describe it. It's like I am numb to the obstacles. I push them in the back of mind and just think about crushing them. About overcoming them. But I don't. Instead, they sit there...and I do nothing. I do nothing about them. 

You see, there comes a point when you are just so tired. So worn out. So restless. You've worked so hard and then nothing happens. So you work even harder and still, nothing happens. That's where I became numb. 

But I don't quit. I don't quit because I know this is what God has called me to do. The burning passion that I have for it...I won't back down. I won't quit.

In the world today, it is so hard to just sit. To sit and be still. All you wanna do is just jump and fix things and try to figure out why it's happening and how you can stop it. But that's not what God is asking of me. No, that's not what He is asking at all. He's asking me to sit, to be still. To KNOW that He is God. He's asking me to just put my faith in Him. Not a bit of my faith, but all of my faith. I know this isn't the last trial I will walk through, or the last time I will ever hit obstacles. No, I will see that plenty more in this life. But God is just asking to hold my hand. My hand. Me? I'm just little ole Megan...who loves to sleep and eat and write and sing praises to my Lord. I'm messy and unorganized and I procrastinate. I don't even really know what I am doing half the time. And some days I don't do my devotion every day. But yet, I am flawless. I am wonderful. I am loved. I am chosen. 

I am C h o s e n . 

YOU are C h o s e n .

God chose me for this. God chose me for this walk that He has placed me on. Specifically designed for me. God is wanting me to depend solely on Him. Until I do that, I think that I won't be progressing anywhere. God needs me to do that. I haven't a clue what my future holds. I don't even know what tomorrow holds or even an hour from now. But I know, oh I know, that whatever an hour from now holds, or even what tomorrow holds, I know, that whatever the future may hold...I will HAVE to depend solely on God. Man will fail me. This world will fail me. But God, He will never fail me. He is my rock. My cornerstone.

I know that this is all happening for a reason. 

"Forever my Refuge

Forever my Strength

Forever my Helper

Forever my Friend

I will be still I will be still 

And know

And know You are God"

 

Psalm 94:18-19

 

Vapors

Yesterday morning in Church, we were reading verses out of the Book of James; I was skimming around and reading and started reading James 4:14- 

(AMP) ¹⁴ Yet you do not know the least thing about what may happen tomorrow. What is the nature of your life? You are really but a wisp of vapor a puff of smoke, a mist that is visible for a little while and then disappears into thin air.

¹⁵ You ought instead to say, If the Lord is willing, we shall live and we shall do this or that thing.

I got to thinking about my plans for the next day (today). I then thought about Kory sitting next to 85 year old Ms. Ada a church row pew behind me. I thought about several things--then I read the verse one more time.

It hit me; I mean we go day to day making plans for tomorrow, or next week, or months, etc. But in all reality we don't even know if tomorrow will be here. We have no clue what turn our life could take in a split second. -- Each and every day I continually praise God and thank Him for every single thing I have in this life. I don't ever want to go a day, taking this life and what God has given me for granted. But- I do--- I do this when I automatically assume I get tomorrow, or next week. I take for granted the air I breathe at that exact moment. Not living in the moment.

I want to take action; I want to make a change; I want to live my life for each and every moment God gives me and I DON'T want to take it for granted.  

In verse 14 when it says " You are really but a wisp of vapor, a puff of smoke, a mist that is visible for a little while and then disappears into thin air."...I realize how little I am. And that is a frightening feeling-- it frightens me to think about how B I G this world is--and how much I take for granted, unintentionally. 

I know to live every moment like it is my last. 

I realize that each second is precious.

Every second, every minute that passes me by- I can never get back.

(I have known this and realized this, but never really took action.)

--It truly made my heart smile B I G when I walked out of the choir loft and saw Kory sitting with 85 year old Ms. Ada. That is a priceless moment- and I am thinking that, for that hour and 15 minutes that Ms. Ada was the happiest woman in that place. Maybe even in the state of Alabama. 

*Point is; I want to make an impact in someones life, even if it is just sitting by them in church, or opening the door for them, praying with them. Whatever it may be.. I want to spend the precious time God has given me, blessing and impacting other people. That my friends, is living in the moment to me. Telling someone what is on your heart; words that you are afraid to speak, but you know if you don't speak them, one day you will regret not speaking them. (that was a lot of speaks!)

Just think about it; you are a vapor, a puff of smoke, a mist- disappearing into thin air---YOU can make a difference. YOU can live in the moment. A tiny vapor--CAN Change a life. 

So, here is to NO holding back and beginning to LIVE IN THE MOMENT.

This post/Verse made me think of Gungor's "Beautiful Things"...WE are beautifully made by God.

Happy Monday! Prayers and blessings to YOU<3

High Five for Friday

high five for friday

hello my dears :)

Welcome to High five for Friday!!

My top 5's for the week are......

1.The fact that TODAY is CHRISTMAS EVE EVE!!!!

2.Wednesday was my last day of work for the year...(it feels so GOOD to say "last day for the year"..haha)

3.Being in Mississippi visiting my wonderful family!

4.

Pinned here.

And last but not least......

5. My guest post for XploreMyFaith's blog..

I know it isn't a big deal, but it is to me. God is SO faithful, and I love watching Him unfold my dreams right in front of me.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Friday!! I cannot wait to spend today with all my cousins and family, and then head back to Alabama tomorrow and get ready for the Christmas Eve festivities! Remember that Jesus brings, hope, peace, salvation and a purpose to living. God sent true and unconditional love! The best Christmas present ever!!

I am linking up with Lauren over at From My Grey Desk for High Five for Friday!! Come join us!!

-Megan

Definite, Not maybe..

When God looks at you, He doesn’t see you as a “maybe” or a “what if.” When God looks at you, He says, "You have an incredible destiny!"


Have you ever had an important day and you are picking out your outfit the night before? Or you're talking with a friend about what she or yourself are going to wear to a get together on Friday? It's always a "well I might wear this, or maybe. Maybe I will wear that." Or  a "ohh hey what if you wore that black top and that pencil skirt?" There is always a might, a maybe and a what if. 
With God there is no maybe, might or what if. It is definite. No swaying, no wavering no mind changing. So when God looks at you he doesn't change His mind about you. He doesn't look at you and say "Well, I might just do this with her and set this up for her...." No He says "I AM doing this with her life and I WILL set this up for her." He doesn't look at someone and say "What if I opened this door for him and just maybe this opportunity came along." NO He says, " I am going to open this door and this will be waiting for him." See the difference between those sets of words? One is so uneasy and you don't know if it is a yes or a no. And the other set is so definite that you don't ever have to wonder if it is going to change. God does NOT change His mind about you.  He loves you so very much and has the most wonderful life set for you. Delighting yourself in HIM will lead you to your DESTINY. How could your  destiny not be incredible if it is formed by God?? Just REST in HIM and be assured that our Father has it all planned out and has YOUR destiny set and ready for YOU! 


You are called and you have a destiny to fulfill.~


You can be confident today that God has already lined up the right people, the right circumstances and the right breaks for you...

Megan