As I sit here on B's porch and stare off into a perfectly cloudless baby blue sky, I am reminded of God's love and faithfulness.
Why is the world so hard? Why is it so demanding.
As a Christian, better yet...as a follower, daily life is hard. We are surrounded by a world, by a society that is constantly shoving pressures down our throats. Saying we have to look, act, and be a certain way to be accepted.
I could sit here all day long and tell you that I never once felt the pressures, that my eyes and thoughts were on God. Focusing on Him. Who He says I am. Half of that would be true. Half of that would not be true.
For those of you that have been readers of this blog, you know the past 6 months have been a seriously challenging time in my life. In my faith. Seriously challenging. I have hit the bottom and did not get back up for a good bit. I let myself conform to be accepted by people of this world. Not people who are after God's heart. In a way I feel like that is what the world expected of me. I was expected to hit rock bottom, get put on anti-depressants, be told I was a person with depression, to be told that I had a broken heart that would heal eventually..maybe. It was expected for me to be told that I wasn't good enough. It was expected for it to be okay for people to treat me like complete crap...because that's the world. And you take what it gives you.
Uhm, I'm sorry. NO.
I take these past 6 months and reevaluate. For a time I allowed and accepted that standard and expectation. And then like a hurricane out of nowhere my life was turned upside down and all around. It was like God slapped me across the face. HARD. It was like He was saying, "Megan this is it. Stop it. No more." And I finally listened. I finally decided to make the change that I had needed to make.
I don't regret all that time I laid on rock bottom. It helped shape me into who I am at this very moment.
Today, I realize how thankful I am to have Godly people surrounding me. To have a friend who is chasing after God's heart and constantly encouraging me is a priceless thing. For her to be so in love with God and to admit, hey you know what, I've sinned. I am a sinner. My past isn't what I want it to be,but God has forgiven me. All I can do now is chase after His heart and let others see my passion and love for God. But most importantly, help others see God's love and faithfulness for us. That is raw right there.
It truly is amazing what changes and how positive life becomes and peace floods when you are exactly where God wants you to be. The peace is indescribable.
B and I hold each other accountable for our actions. We both have a very similar past, and we are too much alike that it is scary! It makes it so much better to have someone know exactly what I am walking through right now. Either she is walking through it as well, or she has walked through it. And vice versa. She knows what I struggle with, as well as I know what she struggles with. So having this friendship is a blessing. God has had this planned for a long time. Without me even saying anything she can spit out the words that were being tossed around in my head with a yes or no encouragement. It honestly feels like we have been friends for our whole lives. And yet it has just been a month!
Friends, I'm not here to brag, I'm not here to hurt anyone's feelings. I am here and writing this because I have seen and I am seeing God's faithfulness. I want you to know that YOU can see and experience His faithfulness in your life, too.
I no longer worry about worldly expectations and standards. I no longer worry about having a boyfriend. Yes, I can't wait for the day that God reveals my future husband to me and blesses me with a family. But today and from now on, I have a peace. A peace of knowing that God already knows my life. He already knows the plans He has for me. So I will breathe, relax, share HIS love and greatness with others.
I am tired of living a mediocre life. I am tired of wondering what the world wants from me next. I want to live a fulfilling and satisfying life of GOD. I want God to daily transform my life
I want God to use me in daring ways! I want to step out in faith and let God take me where He wants. I want God to place me in uncomfortable situations... I want God to take me out of my comfort zone! --like I said, Daring ways!
Don't let the pressures and fears of this world influence you to conform into someone and something that God has not called you to be.
Be who GOD has called YOU to be.
Seek Him, desire Him, chase after His heart. Pursue God.
We all struggle, you will struggle. But God has promised that you will not go through this alone. You won't.
So have hope today and rest with assurance that God knows what He is doing and that YOU are NOT alone. Ask God to use YOU in daring ways!