Dear Little Sister....

 

I'm not going to lie, I really wasn't too thrilled and stuck on the idea of you having the same birthday as me. Like why couldn't mom just wait another day? That was my day. But, when I look at this picture I see such joy. Little did I know the plan that God had for us. Little did I know you would be the golden child and I would be the bad black sheep. Okay, just kidding...but really. 

I've watched you morph and grow and change and become the young woman you are today. We are so different, but yet so much alike. 

Tomorrow you graduate from high school. I am glad you were the second Carruth name to go through.. you left our last name with a good feeling at Prattville High. (sorry if teachers didn't like you at first. That's my fault..) 

The scariest moment of my life so far was the moment I got that diploma in my hand and walked back to my seat. I remember the lump in my throat, and the tears that flowed. I couldn't breathe. I was scared. 

But you, you have so much to look forward to starting. 

It breaks my heart to think about all the years I wasted. I wasted so much time not getting to know you. Not seeing that you were my best friend. You were just that annoying little thing down the hall, who took my things and constantly got me in trouble. But now, now I dread the first nights and first mornings that I walk by your room and you aren't laying in bed reading your Bible, with Hillsong on. Or you aren't hogging all the hot water or busting into my room to borrow a pullover. I dread it. No one to sit across from me at the dinner table. To casually exchange a look when mom or dad is rambling on and lecturing to us. No one to share a chicken leg with(HAHA). 

 

Life is about to change. It's about to change big time. I have a little over a week left with you. You leave for SLA and then two weeks later, off I go to camp until August. August. August. The month you leave. The month you pack up your cute new car and drive away. Everyone leaves. The past year, everyone has walked out of my life. But you stayed. You saw me. The deep dark place I was in. And you cared. I will never forget the text you sent to me at 1:30AM last June while I was in a bar..drunk. You were asking me if I had heard Hillsong's new song. Immediately I caved and told you everything. What I felt in those few minutes of texting with you, I will never forget. 

There's a Katy Perry song and there is a part that I listen to over and over again:

I thank my sister for keeping my head above the water
When the truth was like swallowing sand
Now every morning, there is no more mourning
Oh, I can finally see myself again

I know I am enough
Possible to be loved
It was not about me
Now I have to rise above
Let the universe call the bluff
Yeah, the truth will set you free 

Mikayla, you are my best friend. You know me maybe better than I know myself. Your heart is so pure. So on fire for God and for His Kingdom. Your words and actions match up and are always genuine. You are one of a kind. I can't wait to see what God does with your life in this new chapter. 

I thank you for everything. And I thank you for 18 amazing years so far. 

Just think..in August when this hall goes empty, that's going to be new. One day we will be bringing home our husbands and kids to mom and dad's house. Weird. 

I thank you. 

I love you. 

I am PROUD of you.

I am honored to be Mikayla Carruth's sister. 

Now, Go Choctaws!

-meg aka: sissssaaaay.

ps. I love that we have the same birthday.

And I will ALWAYS give you a hard time about your terrible driving skills, sense of direction, and losing things...I mean..that's what big sisters are for!