It's a rainy day here today. Which means, I am a happy girl.
Got on my leggings, an oversized t, a comfy too big guys pullover..that I want to keep but have to give back, and a hot cup of coffee right next to me on the couch.
And in this moment, I am happy.
Contentment is found in the now things. The now moments.
Not in a man, not in future plans, not what happened Monday night or 2 months ago. (Yes, we need to be content with all areas of our lives..but I think you know what I am saying here.)
It is found in the now.
I've always been the girl who has dreamed of a wedding and babies and a husband that I could grow old with. I was looking to the future and never the current. Always planning ahead and setting my hopes on that. Never fully looking around and be thankful and happy with the current.
But that has all changed.
Those of you who know me, or have been keeping up with the blog over the past few months, you all know I've been going through changes that shifted my whole life. And yes, I was knocked down.
When I say it's all changed it has.
For the first time, I am thinking about myself. I have goals set that I can and will reach. My story to the beginning of Nursing school and how I left it all in God's hands is such a testimony of faith in my life. It is a step. Stepping into the unknown in my sight, but the known in God's sight. I have never wanted anything more than I do right now.
I knew if I didn't take the step, ask for help and make a change, then I would not be able to make it through Nursing school. My mind, my heart, my emotions..I couldn't handle. I knew I had to make a change. I found the courage to do so.
Have the courage to ask for help.
I took a few days and went to Mississippi- it ended up being a two day trip but it was priceless time I would never exchange. I do most of my thinking in the car. There is something about the windows down, music on, and a road forever in front of you. My mind processed things. Everything.
Friendships, to relationships, to school, to family...to organizing. I mean seriously. I had so much time to just think.
A relationship is really on the bottom of my list right now. I mean if God feels the timing is right and something arises, then amazing. But, I, will not be trying to have a relationship without God in it. Sure, I want to settle down and have babies. But I'm almost 24 and I am seeing that the past 6 years of my life that's all I ever thought about. I never thought about my wants in life. I have figured out my wants in life and I am running with it. I am taking off with it. Always chase your dreams. Never let anyone discourage you, or hold you back from pursuing your dreams. Surround yourself with people who want to see you reach those dreams. It is so important to have friends who lift you up.
I say all of that above to make a point. We all have wants, we all have goals. But in my heart I honestly know, I need to be content with the now. I do not need to stress and focus on future. To be truly happy, take a look around. Even if in your life there are circumstances you aren't the happiest with...there IS good in your life. There is. You have a God who loves you unconditionally, and you are breathing.
Be happy with your now and always always always keep your hope.