The past month or two I have had writer's block like crazy. Every now and then a post was able to be written. But usually it was just 20 million different things spaced out in one post and then saved as a draft. My mind was frozen. It was searching. I had so many emotions and so many words to get out, but I just couldn't. They just wouldn't allow themselves to flow from my mind to my fingertips.
But now, now that's done. The words are escaping almost like I have no filter. Some words are too honest and some are borderline just right.
Basically I will sum my heart up for you right now....
I am hurting. My heart is hurting.
People change. Things change. Life is a constant change.
Things you never thought would happen, they happen.
Words and actions you never thought would be against you...they are.
You gotta let it go.
But I am joyful. I have hope. I am staying strong.
God's plan is the ultimate.
I can smile a genuine smile and know that I am going to be okay.
No worries here, just going with the flow and watching life unfold.
No matter who I had to leave behind, or the ugly words that were said to me...it's okay. It's all okay.
That feeling I have..the one about someone in particular. The one who said words and then called me and broke me like promises.The person who did a total personality change and molded into someone I don't even know anymore, my heart hurts for you. Not because of what you said or did. But for who you've become. You are not the person I thought you were. But hey, true colors eventually come out...right?
This blog has had some really raw and emotional posts since May. Maybe I've shared too much, not enough, or just what needed to be shared. I am sure some feelings have been hurt, but honestly that doesn't bother me. I am who I am. And I am not going to hold back or not share my heart on something that is a piece of my heart.
The day I decide to go back and read the posts in this blog will be the day I truly will see how much I have grown and how strong I have become through the obstacles and people I have met in this past short 3 months.
My new beginning has started and I am running into it with full force. Ain't nothing stopping me now.
Letting people go, and putting the memories away. We aren't friends. We aren't enemies. We are just people with memories.
Sometimes I feel like I am frozen in time, just waiting for something to happen. But reality is, I'm not.