11.25.2013

Inserts of a healing heart//Here's to being free

This morning..well about 25 minutes ago to be exact.. I took the very last step of my healing heart. 

Yes, I have healed. But there was one little thing that I wanted to get out. The final word before silence. We know writing is a passion, so I knew the best way. When I was done, I clicked that send button.

So, here's a little glimpse..


But this day, that I sat there in a car you don't know, and I looked up at you in your truck, we were strangers.  
We were just two people who didn't know each other, just waiting for green.

Put your ego and your pride to the side for once. Trust me, this will still benefit you...is that how you pictured it would be? Did you ever imagine that 7 years later we would be total and complete strangers? That when we saw one another anger is what took over, instead of sadness, or happy memories? Is it? Answer it honestly.
I never thought it would turn out like this. I never thought we would be strangers. I always thought it we weren't together that we could at least be civil.
That we wouldn't be friends, but we wouldn't be strangers. We would just be two people with memories.
But that's not our case.  

  ...this morning when I saw what I saw and I read what I read, I couldn't contain myself. I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to belittle you in every way. But, I calmed myself. I prayed about it and I felt that this would be the best way to go about it.
Because frankly, I'm not the girl you know. I'm not the Megan you dated for all those years. Screaming isn't a part of me anymore and belittling surely isn't a characteristic that I posses.

 
 But..you didn't And you made promises anyways that you knew you weren't going to keep. I figured it out. And I walked on....Because I knew, I KNEW that I deserved someone who would think, and act, and pursue me.
And that's why we are here. 

  ....I hope you find your happiness. And when you do...think about it. Pursue it unlike anything you've ever pursued. 

So, here is to finally not having something weighing on my heart. Here is to letting it all go. Letting go of my anger that I had towards this. Here is to finally giving the last piece of my heart to God. The piece that I kept from Him. That I was too ashamed of. Here is to complete and total healing. Now, I can carry on with God and my walk. 

Here's to being F R E E .


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