Out of nowhere....

**note...this post started off and then took a totally different angle..I know it's because one of you or some of you God needs you to see this. So...I know it's a wee bit long..but..I'm sorry!! :)
Growing up, we moved a lot. My dad was Air Force, so it was always expected. A new base, a new school, new faces, same way of life in a new town. 

I truly feel so blessed that, that was my childhood. Many people are born in the same town, raise their family in that town and pass away in that town. Which is something I have always yearned for.  Growing up I would find myself so envious of those kids and families that were from that town and had never moved. I always wondered what it was like to be in the 5th grade with kids that you started pre-K with or be in high school with kids you started pre-K with. Within the past year or two, I have come to realize that I am so thankful for the chance to grow up how I did. I was able to experience different ways of life, different cultures, I surely experienced culture shock a few times..(What up Korea & Virginia!)

I know my time in Virginia was short lived. And I know that I fought with people everyday that y'all are NOT Southern. (Yes, you're below Mason Dixon...but still. LOL.I'm sorry!) We were suppose to be there for 4 years...we were there about 10 months. I remember the whole first 6 months I was miserable. I had never been so unhappy. My family was miserable as well. But, they made the best of it. I, on the other hand, did not. I was a junior in high school, 17 years old.
 (all my VA friends...I've apologized before & I will apologize again, for always saying how much I hated that place...because honestly, Spotsylvania & actually the whole state-- the most beautiful place I have lived.) 
Around month 7 ,I finally started to come around. I was seeing that it wasn't so bad, and I had made some really amazing friends...who I still talk to today. In a way, I wish we would have stayed longer. I would have liked to see how life would have been. 

Right before I moved, we all lost 2 incredible boys. And I think that moment and those weeks of grieving really defined each of us and brought people together, once we realized how short life was. My time in Spotsylvania, at Riverbend High School, will never leave my memory. Out of all the places and bases we have lived, that place is the place that made the most impact in my life. I was figuring out who I was and that I didn't have to be "perfect". I was seeing that there really are true people out there. People who accept others for who they are. 
I thank you all for that too...because I know I was complicated and a handful(as usual)..but very down a lot of the time I was there.

okay I am getting to the point....
Point is, I have realized I don't let people in. I don't like getting close to people. Why, you may ask?
Well..I grew up moving. I finally learned not to get close to people or attached because we were going to leave anyways. Home was where the Air Force sent us. Today, I still wait for my mom and dad to come to me and tell me we are leaving. But, I am 24 years old, my father is Retired AF and there's no more leaving. No more moving. My family is where they want to be. Where God has placed them.  
I have such a desire to travel. I have such a desire to plant my roots somewhere. I've always been a homebody, but in the past few months, when I have really dug into God's Word and really have found my identity in Jesus Christ, I am not afraid to leave anymore. I am not afraid to get close to someone, or get attached to someone. I no longer have the fear of someone leaving. 
If someone chooses to walk away from your life, let them. God knows who belongs in your life and who doesn't. You've got to trust Him and let Him show you. Don't chase after them, don't keep knocking on the doors that God has closed.  

Friends, I know I know, this post may not make any sense. But it all boils down to this...I was so use to leaving, people leaving and losing people in my life. Which then made me scared that everyone that came into my life was going to leave. And when they did leave, I had the hardest of hardest time letting them go and accepting the fact. But Now, now I don't. I smile because of the time I had with people in my life. I am thankful for the short amount of time some people are in my life. Whether it be a time of sadness and complication and hurt, I learned. I got stronger. And those people were there for me in that moment. I was there for them. I was with someone for 7 years and to this day, I don't regret one day with him at all. I am thankful. He helped play a part in me becoming who I am today. Special place for him in my heart, forever. You see, Their part in your story may be over. It could be over forever or just for the time being..but take that time that you had with them..don't feel stupid, or like a fool, don't be angry or bitter, be thankful. Pick your head up, pull your boots or your flats or your heels, put a smile on your face and know that YOU ARE STRONGER because of those people that have left your life. That GOD has this under control! HE will NEVER ever lead you the wrong way. Your Heavenly Father KNOWS what is best for YOU. He longs for you to be full and filled with His love and His JOY! Don't be afraid to love people, don't be afraid to get close to someone!

So, here's to the past and all the people in it. And here's a smile on YOUR face for today, tomorrow, and every day to come. Be thankful for it all!!

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