constant//

It's Friday night. 9:26PM...and I am sitting on my bed (that's full of things I need to find a place for) and Britt Nicole's "The Sun is Rising" is on repeat. 

Tonight, I realized that for the first time..ever, I am completely content being alone. I used to despise it. I hated being alone. I hated sitting at home on a Friday night while everyone was with friends, or their significant others..despised it. But now, now I truly enjoy it. 

This Christmas has been quite easy for me actually. I've gotten so use to people coming and going, that it doesn't bother me anymore..because one thing stays constant..God. He is constant. 

 When life has cut too deep and left you hurting
The future you had hoped for is now burning
And the dreams you held so tight lost their meaning
And you don't know if you'll ever find the healing

I am not in a rush for my life to happen. Time is truly precious. Why wish for tomorrow and ignore today? I have learned to live in the moment...And so far, I am enjoying it. I don't know what is going to happen in my life. I don't even know if it's in God's plan for me to get married. But what I do know, is that during this season of singleness in my life, I am going to take advantage of it. I am going to continue to get closer and closer to God. I want literally every aspect of my life to overflow with Him. I want my heart to be cleansed and full of HIS love. 

 Every high and every low you're gonna go through
You don't have to be afraid I am with you
In the moments you're so weak you feel like stopping
Let the hope you have light the road you're walking

  

The process of healing is such a beautiful and fragile thing to go through. If you're not careful and try to "think" your healed and begin to jump in...you only see that the wounds were never healed. You just put a blind eye because you want your heart to be healed, & you knew/know that it wasn't healed at all. Not even close. Healing is a process of closure, and accepting things. Realizing that God's plan is so much bigger than your plan could ever be...and so much more amazing. During my time of healing, I embraced it. I accepted that my heart was hurting. I realized that people aren't nice. That there really is ugliness and hurtful ways out there in the world. Not everyone is going to like you and not everyone means what they say to you. Remember that one thing..that one person who is constant. That is the only one who can and will pull you through if you only let Him. Let Him heal you completely. 

Even when you can't imagine how
How you're ever gonna find your way out
Even when you're drowning in your doubt
Just look beyond the clouds

It's amazing that I am so secure now. I was never this secure. But I've gained a deeper meaning and love and relationship for my God. My relationship is more than a prayer and a Sunday morning in church. It is constant. Am I bragging? NO, absolutely not. I am encouraging. If you are yearning for that deeper meaning and love that never ends, you can have it. Your heart can be healed and you can find your security and identity in Jesus Christ. 

You're gonna make it
You're gonna make it
The night can only last for so long

So, I challenge you..whatever it is that you are facing...whether your heart is hurting or breaking, whether you just have no joy..remember, the sun is rising. 

Whatever you're facing
If your heart is breaking
There's a promise for the ones who just hold on
Lift up your eyes and see
The sun is rising

image found here