Even when I cannot see...

I'm sitting here in the library, trying to focus on what my task is. This research methods paper. How's it going you ask? Uhhhhm well...it's not. I look at it and I literally see nothing. I see nothing. So, a nice little break I am taking with my iced caramel macchiato and my blog.

good for the soul.

I love the weeks where things are just so hectic that you can't stop and take a quick little breather. Where it seems like the days just run together and you're not quite sure what the day is, or better yet, sometimes what your own name is. That was this week for me. I am thankful for those kinda weeks!
Why? Well, you see once those weeks wind down, it's almost like you are brought back to reality. Back down to Earth. Not planet Megan...but Earth.  It reminds me and shows me that it's the little things in life that truly do matter. That have the most meaning. 

I had an interview this past Tuesday and it was a good hour & a half drive. This was probably the most nerve wracking interview I have ever had. My nerves were acting INSANE. I seriously had Oceans by Hillsong on, my whole drive there. But why was I so nervous? I wasn't hiding anything, my work was fully aware of this and knew exactly what this interview was for and about..and they were totally supportive. The position I was being interviewed for is basically what I breathe and sleep every day. I am confident in my skills and knowledge of the area and am beyond ready to put those to work to help! So, why is it that I was so nervous to the point of  letting nervousness ruin my day? I was and am thankful for this opportunity. Beyond thankful. Once I got there I was immediately calm and it was amazing. I got in the car to leave and cried for a good 20 minutes going down the road. I didn't cry because I felt bad about how it went (because it went fabulous), I didn't cry because I was scared. No, I cried because I was thankful. I was overcome with so much emotion that I just couldn't contain it.  I heard these sweet words coming through the speakers and through tears streaming down my face and a lump in my throat, I sang along

You were reaching through the storm
Walking on the water
Even when I could not see
In the middle of it all
When I thought You were a thousand miles away
Not for a moment did You forsake me
Not for a moment did You forsake me 
I remember saying to myself, Oh my heart. My heart, be still.
 I remember asking God to still my beating heart and to calm it. That He did.

For a moment I was so confused as to why I was crying. I felt silly. But y'all, God reminds me constantly of His promises to me. To us. The fact that God knows the desires of my heart and He knows how deep the desire is for me to work this job this summer, and He opened that door and opportunity for me to have a chance...it literally just blows my mind. It makes my heart want to burst. 

 After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me

Whether I get this position or not, I will still smile and be thankful for the opportunity I had. I've come to peace with the fact that if I don't get it, then that just means God has somewhere else that He needs me this summer. There is a different task at hand that He has put on my path. And I'm okay with that. It won't make me feel any less of a person, it won't make me think that I am not good enough in that area. I know my capabilities and strengths. I know my weaknesses. I know myself. I know that I am good enough. 

 I wasn't planning for this post to be lengthy. But now that I am going, I've had something hit me like bricks. Bare with me!!

Everything that I just wrote.. brings me to this. God's promises. God is faithful. He is loving. Through the storms and trials we may not see a reason to smile. We may think that our circumstances are just too hard and too bad and that smile or that joy that comes from our relationship with Christ, we just can't seem to muster the strength to see it. 

 You were singing in the dark
Whispering Your promise
Even when I could not hear
I was held in Your arms
Carried for a thousand miles to show
Not for a moment did You forsake me

The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. Psalm 28:7 
Example: I've shared the past year of my life with you guys. Some of the deepest moments of my life. The most vulnerable moments of my life. Moments that my closest friends don't even know. (Well they do now after reading)..relationships have just been something God was working in me on. I was learning to be happy with myself and God. Just us two. Nobody else. God told me to be patient. He told me to wait for the man that deserves my love and my time. That deserves to have me. He reminded me to be patient and not worry about it. So, I didn't. Yes, I went on dates every now and then and hung out with guys. But it was always just as friends. I never felt any connection with them. Ever. Then one day the most unlikely situation came about. It hit me like a baseball coming back and hitting the pitcher's face. And y'all, I knew this was God telling me it was okay and I could take that step. That I could open up, and it was okay for me to be happy. (I thought I couldn't be happy because I was afraid the happiness would flee.) Last week on Valentines day I got some lovely pink roses. And to be honest, I think I felt my heart do 5 cartwheels. But it wasn't because I received flowers, no it was because it was almost like God was saying, "Go on my dear daughter. It's okay. Enjoy this time. Stop worrying about tomorrow or the future. I've got that handled. Savor and enjoy these moments. You have waited so patiently. Don't hold back. It's okay." 

And when I wake up every morning and see those flowers I smile. Not only because of who they are from, but also because they remind me of God's promises and His faithfulness. Am I saying that this is "the one"? Uhhh we know I don't use those words anymore. I let God handle that! But what I am saying is that people come into our lives for a reason! Whether this proceeds and goes anywhere further or whether it stays at this, I will always be happy and thankful for this because God once again has shown me and is showing me how much He loves. How faithful He truly is. 

Great is His love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Psalm 117:2

Whatever it is that you may be facing today...great circumstances, bad circumstances, smile. Know that your strength comes from God. That there is J O Y in HIM! There is joy in every walk, every aspect and every circumstance of life! Even though your circumstance and the world may make it seem like having joy in that time would be unnatural, go against it! Have that JOY! If you know God is telling you to be patient....be patient. I know it's not easy. It may seem so confusing right now, but lean into The Word and into God's promises. Let Him hold you. One day, one day my friends, it will all make sense. 

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thes 5:16-18

And every step every breath you are there
Every tear every cry every prayer
In my hurt at my worst
When my world falls down
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Even in the dark
Even when it's hard
You will never leave me
After all


  1. I love ALL of this. I recently broke up with someone and it has been a super hard couple of months. But I realized that this moment is a moment in my life where I'm in a season of singleness for a reason. That at this moment, God wants ALL of me. And I'm excited to see where God wants to take me. I'll be praying for you and the job!! And those flowers are GORGEOUS!

    1. Krystal, I love that! I always reminded myself of that when I was going through that season and it always helped so much. I know it's rough, but keep your head up! God has an amazing plan for YOU!!! I will be praying for you!! And thank you :)

  2. Go on, girl. How exciting! I know it's so hard to let go and let God, but He always comes through no matter what. And waiting on His perfect timing is always worth it. :) Hope you get the job!

    1. Thank you girl! It is so hard at times, but SO worth it!

  3. Beautifully spoken! Praying for you :)