Currently, I am laying in my hammock on my grandparent's back porch. In Mississippi. Tristan Prettyman "Say Anything" is streaming from my laptop. There is a nice cool breeze, and I hear little voices and laughter of kids in the yard over.. annnnd occasionally a scream of someone telling on the other. I've been here almost 24 hours and I think I have come to realize more than I have in the past couple weeks.
Last week I was laying by my pool with my friend K. We got to talking about recent events and our honest thoughts on them. I will never forget this moment... she looks over at me and says "You're a strong person. I've read your blog and I see how you are handling this. You are one of the strongest people I have ever seen. I am just being real." Those words are still ringing in my mind.
For so long I never understood why I crossed certain things that I did. But today, while sitting on the boat and watching my pawpaw drive on the Reservoir that I pretty much grew up on every weekend of my little life...it hit me. It hit me square in the face. Right in the heart.
It hit me. I am human. I am not stone. But I try so hard. I try so hard to smile and choose joy in the hard times and the good times. I want God to use me and my life to impact someone else. To help others. So many people think they are alone. But you're not. You're not alone. I am positive there is someone out there that can relate to what you are going through right now. I don't try to be strong. I personally think I am far from strong. I think each day, yes, I get stronger with God's help. But the fact that K said that to me, it means more than she will ever know.
I think it's because I felt stuck for so long. I felt stuck. Like that was my life and that was it. But once I stepped out in faith and made decision after decision, I slowly saw every puzzle piece that I had carefully placed in step with the other pieces, scatter. S C A T T E R.
This puzzle of life isn't suppose to be put together by my hands.
I think that's why I look at things how I do now. Each day and each occurrence is that puzzle coming together by God's hands.
If you're facing this in life right now, putting your own pieces together, you're not stuck.
This is actually perfect timing for you to hand the puzzle over to God.
So what if a relationship didn't turn out how you thought it would. So what if you didn't get the job you were wanting all along. There is better.
Remember that rejection is God's protection.
We are each walking our own story. I hope that by me sharing things that are happening in my life, can maybe inspire you. Or even just let you know that you're not alone. It's okay to not understand and it's okay to be confused. But usually when things are like that, that's when God is getting everything in place. So embrace it. Love it. Smile.
Take a deep breath, and hand the pieces over.