It's been a little over a month since I last posted. For the past almost 5 weeks I have been out here working PR at camp. There really aren't words that can describe how amazing this place is. How amazing the people are here: campers and staff.
|Pictures found here.|
But today, today I am struggling. I thought I was past this point of struggle. Today I felt my heart break a little. Today I questioned myself and my strength. I questioned myself if I can really handle this...emotionally and mentally. This place leaves such an impact on your life. Your heart. Your thoughts. I questioned and questioned and questioned myself.
As I sit here in our little office, I see a picture of my sister and I on my desk. I hear her words and I feel her prayers for me. But I am struggling. Usually I can put on a smile and forget what's hurting. But today, no smile was put on and it seemed as though all my strength had disappeared. My heart is exhausted but yet so full.
My mind is exhausted but thankful.
I am emotionally wrecked.
In a wonderful way and in a sad way.
My life is being forever changed, no doubt.
But I am also seeing the true daily life with disability and it breaks my heart.
All I can do is cry and love these sweet people, and try my best to make their week the best it can be.
And in the middle of trying to do all of that, they are changing my heart. One by one.
I don't like how I have felt today. I have been battling all day long. Trying to remind myself that God has a plan and a reason for sending me here. I love this camp. I love these people. But it is hard. I'm not even a counselor. I am PR staff. I take pictures. I make videos. I laugh. I spend as much time as I can with campers. My passion is to tell their stories through videos and pictures. To capture emotion and precious moments that could easily be forgotten.
But I am still wrecked at the end of the day. At the end of the week.
|Pictures found here..oh & creeping with the camera back there on these beautiful campers!|
Tonight, I am praying for peace. I am praying for strength. I need my heart to be still.