Just a band aid

Scrolling Instagram today and I come across this quote:

"The fact that someone else loves you, doesn't rescue you from the project of loving yourself" -Sahaj Kohli

Re read that again if you need to. Let it digest. 

If that's not a pill to swallow, then I don't even know what to say. 

Often too many times we find ourselves single. Watching all of our friends and strangers with significant others. Sharing life together and smiles and laughter. And probably some tears. We often decide to throw ourselves a little pity party on Friday night while they are off enjoying date night. {Enter scene} Ben and Jerry's, Redbox, wine, chocolate and Twizzlers. 

Until suddenly, it hits you. "I am single. I am single!" You think to yourself. So much can be done! Automatically you start envisioning how tomorrow you're going to embrace that singleness. Boiling it all down to you looking absolutely hot and making every man desire you. But is that really what singleness is about? Is that really the goal we should be setting to reach in our singleness? I know in my mind, the answer is no. Sure, we want to look good and it's a good feeling to know that someone wants you. That someone desires you. But there's so so much more to it. 

Starting with yourself. Being single isn't a bad thing. It's not a bad thing at all. It just means the right person isn't here yet. You haven't found that person you want to pursue something with. Well, unless you have but that person doesn't feel the same as you. That's a totally different ballgame.

Realizing this can be a light for some. But while in this process it's so important to learn to love yourself. To be perfectly happy with yourself. To enjoy time alone with yourself. To be okay alone. It takes some time for this to happen. For some it's longer than others. And that's O K A Y.

When someone does come along and genuinely wants to pursue you and is genuinely interested in you- and if you feel the same way about them- COOL! You go on a date and then more dates and then start seeing each other multiple times a week and you're happy and things are going so smoothly, blah blah blah- all the while you may forget to be learning to love yourself. Maybe you didn't fully get through the process with yourself. Someone came along and liked you and accepted you for who you are and that was enough, you thought. But a few months down the road when the newness isn't so new and you start to see insecurities rise within yourself, you realize that you're still empty. You're still not completely full. It's because you never faced those insecurities you have. You never took the time to learn yourself. To be face to face with your fears and your negative thoughts. Never got the chance to be alone and to truly actually learn to love yourself. 

If you don't love yourself, then you need to get on it. 

Learn what {your name} loves. 

Learn what {your name} feels insecure about, and kick that insecurity out.

Learn learn learn learn learn YOU.

Someone loving you isn't a band aid . It doesn't heal and fix. 

No, instead it just covers up. Covers up everything that you didn't face. Take the band aid off and face yourself. Even if you are dating someone, you can still face yourself and learn to love yourself. 

Take time out of each day to pray, to read God's word, to read books that will help you understand certain things. Remind yourself how beautiful and flawless you truly are.  

This isn't an easy task. I am still learning to love myself each and every day. And there are many days where the thought creeps in and tries to sway me to believe that I am not good enough and that's why it didn't work out. Or that I'm not beautiful and that's why I am alone. 

Both of those are lies. Satan loves loves loves to make you feel unworthy and NOT good enough. But the King of the universe says that you are worthy and that you are good enough and that you are loved. 

Take the time to search yourself and love yourself. Take the band aid of someone else loving you off...Trust me, you won't regret it.