1.28.2015

My heart didn't break...

I've always thought there's something so beautiful in making yourself vulnerable.
Putting yourself out there and knowing there would be acceptance or rejection.
There's something so pure and so refreshing in saying exactly what you want to say. Saying it to someone that you wouldn't dare say it to.

This moment came for me this week.
All thanks to my stylist and a simple reply from her that said "you need to tell him exactly what you just texted to me." 

Uhhhmm...I'm sorry..what? NO. Absolutely not. No. Not happening.
But the more and more I sat there trying to breathe and to calm myself down. Trying to stop the flood of tears and the anxiety, I realized something. I have nothing to lose. Nothing.

So, pride to the side. Text typed out. Vulnerable words just waiting for me to hit the send button. One day later I hit the send button.

Annnnnnd the rest of the story goes exactly how I imagined it would. 
Nothing like a love story. But every bit like a heartbreaking, Kleenex needing, wine guzzling, emotional movie. 

My heart didn't break. 
I didn't need Kleenex. 
I did have a glass of wine. 

It makes me laugh when people claim to know me. But then what they forget is that when a writer falls in love with you, you never die. You live forever in our minds and in our writings. You inspire.

So when I say this, I say it with certainty...
My words will haunt you. My face will never leave your mind. And one day you will wake up and realize that you're haunted by the fact that you lost a woman who can never be replaced.

Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. Don't be afraid of someone walking away. Shoot, let them walk. When someone who doesn't belong in your life finally exits your life, it makes room for the new and for the plan God has.

Remember, it's okay to cut off those ties that bring you down and constantly keep you on a roller coaster. It's okay to let go. Remember what you deserve.

I finally had the courage to let go of what was causing me so much sadness and hurt. And I will cherish that moment forever. It doesn't make the person you're letting go of bad...has nothing to do with them..but everything to do with how strong you are

Photo Credits: Sarah McCallister

No comments:

Post a Comment