Has your world shifted lately? Could be a big shift, a little shift...any size of shift. Either way, it's a shift. And when our worlds shift, it's uneasy, it's weird, it's hard, it's sad, it's exciting. I am sure the list could go on. Shifts in our world means that God is just working in your life.
My world has shifted. Right now, it seems like a gigantic shift. A shift that I can't quite grab hold of. Right when I feel like I catch my footing, I fall back down. I get back up, only to fall back down again. My world has shifted before, many many many many many times. But this shift is different. I can't tell you how or why. But I can tell you that it just, it's different. My heart is aching a different ache than it's ever experienced. I'm not sure what ache this is or why it's different. But it's different. None like before. And I think that is why this seems so huge and just like I can't get my grip...all while reminding myself multiple times a day to breathe. Constantly trying to smile when I feel the tears coming. And always shooting down the thoughts that try to creep into my mind. Not so great yet, but I'm working on it. I don't know what is going to happen. I have hope.
I think the biggest thing for me is that, I am scared. There are so many things going on in my life right now. I graduate college in almost a month exactly. I really honestly have no clue what I want to do. My classes this semester are so overwhelming. But somehow I have come back from the pits and have been taking care of business in them. I just have so many changes that are coming. I am soon to enter a new phase of life and the people I want with me, may not go with me into that phase...and it breaks my heart. Now my heart has hurt before. All of our hearts have hurt at one point or another in our lives. But this is the pain that you can feel. You feel it in your chest and your mind, and you have to catch your breath. It's a scary pain. I never thought that I'd be where I am today at 26 years old. Not even in the same book. I always imagined I'd be married with babies by now. But God had other plans for me, and that my friends, I am so thankful for. But that is what is the scariest of all. I have no idea where my life is going, or what God is doing. My little heart is so confused and it just wants to have that familiar hug that it's come to find comfort in. But it can't have that hug.
God will definitely turn your world upside down and all around in order to fit the puzzle piece in.
He's working in my heart, and He is working in your heart.I believe that 100 percent. No doubt about it. I know He is. And I know that this work that's being done in our hearts is just to set up for things to come. To take the hurt that's been held onto, and to heal it. To refresh your mind and your soul. To give you rest and peace. To make you feel complete again and able to open up. What's in the past is in the past. People in the past, stay in the past. We learn from the past. We figure out who we want, what we want, and then we stick to that because we know. Confusion will come but....
I've learned recently to not make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings, temporary emotions, and temporary changes. Prayer is what you should do when those temporary things crawl into your mind and your heart. God is the only one that can bring clarity and direction.
I'm not really sure how this phase of life I am in is going to end and enter into the new phase. I don't know who is going to be with me and who will have to stay in my heart only. All I know is that I have loved in this phase.
If you're reading this, I hope you're in my next phase. I hope that you're one of the people I get to share my heart with. My struggles, my excitement, my fear, my love,. my laughs and my tears, my life...I want to share that with you. And, if you're not in my next phase, just know that there will always be a place in my heart that is only for you. My heart and my soul have smiled bigger than they ever have. I have laughed harder than I ever have and I was fearless. Adventures were made wherever life was that day. And my memories are stored in my heart. I have loved with my whole heart. For the first time in my life, I was actually living for the day and that, I am thankful for.
Friends, just remember that when your world is rocked and shifted, to just hold on tight. Hold on to God's promises. HE is what and who will keep you steady. Things may look hopeless now or like they can't be fixed...but they can be!
Restored and renewed.
No matter what happens in your life, never stop loving.
Remember, love always hopes and always perseveres.