I'm not really sure where to begin. All I know is that life isn't fair. And that unfair things happen to people. And what is really sad, is that people don't think about what happens when they make certain decisions. Why? Because they only think about themselves. They don't think about the other person involved, they don't think about those around them. But that's okay because we are human. We, are our first priority.
I've learned in the years that actions truly do speak louder than words.
I've learned that my heart is in fact, going to hurt. And tears will come.
I've learned that not everyone who says they will be there, are there.
And I've learned that some people may not be the best at explaining emotion or helping others understand something, and that's okay.
Let's just say that, my heart is hurting. And nothing is really making it feel better. I'm not really sure how people can just close a door that you've been standing in. Just patiently, so very patiently, waiting in. Sometimes I think that the heart God gave me was meant for someone else. How can I, of all people, deal with things that are in my path? I look back at trials and struggles before, and remember so vividly how I felt during those times. But this, this is a different feeling. It's a feeling that's so wrong and so scary. Life really does pass us by so quickly. And I've learned that people aren't in your life forever. So to really appreciate the people that are in your life, while they are in your life. To realize that it is okay to be cared for. It is okay to let people love you and be there for you. Even if that's something you're not very used to. Or if it's just been so long since you've had people like that in your life... it's okay to be afraid. But don't let your fear drive you away from something that is good.
As I sit here on my bed, a big t shirt, a messy ponytail, and tears streaming down my face uncontrollably, I am just overwhelmed. So much emotion, so much fear, and so much hope. There is so much to be thankful for and so many reasons to smile, but yet tonight, my heart is choosing to let some tears out. Confusion isn't something I would wish on anyone. It's not a good feeling, it's a state of numbness,..that's what I believe confusion is, You think one thing but yet it's not that...it's something completely different and it just leaves you in a state of numbness. Just know that God is not the author of confusion. We don't always get answers we ask for, but we do get the answers that He wants us to have. I am thankful. My heart is thankful.
Tonight, before you go to sleep, make sure the people that you care about, know that you care.
Whether it's a simple hug or a goodnight text.
I don't care if you are angry with them, or not speaking, or laying right next to them..just make sure they know...because you never know if their tomorrow or your tomorrow is guaranteed.
And a life full of regret is not a life you want.